Wide load.

This was a work poo, the day after St Patrick's Day, so you know it was always gonna be tragic. 

Horribly hungover at work, I realised it was time to go, so I made my excuses, and went for a dump.

Tar, horrible dirty, sticky, stubborn tar. An absolute nightmare, on exit and the aftermath. 

It felt like it came out at bizarre angles, tacking like a Schooner sailing the seven seas of shit.

Until the final lengths slipped out, at which point it's texture changed to that of chocolate mousse.

Wiping, i'll get to the point... It wasn't easy, the reference to tar applies here too. As soon as i'd done, it wasn't long before i felt incredibly uneasy about the situation. I knew i hadn't done well on this one... The poor quality toilet paper was a challenge, and there's only so much wiping a sensitive little bum can take. I did have to make a second visit later in the day to reassure myself the job was done.

The smell was pretty rough, but it didn't take long to disappear, thankfully, always a bonus at work.

There was plenty more to see in the depths, but i couldn't get decent lighting. :(

Bristol stool chart rating; 3, close to 2, it was quite the challenge.

Personal rating; 6, although it was a truly unique effort, it felt good to get rid of, holding on to that much Guinness for that long can weigh you down.

However, this isn't the end of the story, this one got me 3 times, at first with the initial poop, then minutes later i was forced to face it, about to get back to work I felt pretty sick, seconds later i found myself running up the stairs and shoving my head in the bowl for a quick sick. And then later that day when it kept playing on my mind. 3 for 1. Too many problems.

Happy Mother's Day! And St Patrick's Day! Guinness for days!